Things you Don't do...

There are also a number of things that you might want to do in the States that you should DEFINTELY not do in Uganda.  Here are just a few of them.

(Please note that I have done every single one of the following things... that’s how I learned not to do them!)

 

Throw things to people-  I throw things at people all of the time.  I throw pens to people.  I chuck phones at people when they ask for them.  I totally have no problem tossing a piece of paper to you.... that is until I was told it is totally inappropriate in Uganda. I was in the staff room and someone asked me for the keys to the computer room.  I held them up and said, “catch”.  Mr. Wanzala stared at me with a blank expression and looked in no position to catch them.  Well... I was half way across the room and not about to get up, when someone finally said, “We don’t throw things to people in the Buganda Kingdom (the region where I live).”  I said, “Really... I have been doing that for like 6 months.. why not?”  He then explained that they only throw things to dogs and if you throw something to a person it is an insult.  Did I mention I have been doing this for 6 months, and this was in front of all of the staff at the college. Cool Amber.

Name animals after humans- When I thought my dog was a boy, the students named her Lute.  And then we found out she was a girl.  So I let the staff come up with names.  They wanted to name her after inanimate objects and I wasn’t to keen on that.  They told me that there was no way you could name her a Lugandan name because, yet again, it was disrespectful.  So I decided to name her mirembe... which means peace, thinking it was not a name but still had meaning.  I told the staff at our next meeting and Madam Namakula stood up and informed me that her other name was mirembe.  Ha.... I totally named my dog after a tutor at the college.

Talk back to men- As you can imagine, I have gotten myself into a few nasty situations with this one.  There is still such a difference in the respect for each sex. Women kneel down to men, serve men, etc. and they expect Americans to do it as well... which I obviously don’t.  I am considering it cultural exchange.

Turn down food- People are constantly offering you food here, and you have to take it.  Its incredibly rude to turn it down... but oh so difficult when you have just finished lunch and someone offers you a second one.  I have learned to be careful what I eat before I go over to someones house or I just might end up eating the whole day.

Eat your totem animal-  Every person in Uganda belongs to a clan.  The clan is determined by your fathers clan, and your name correlates specifically with the clan.  Anyone in Uganda can say their name and other Ugandans will know which clan they are from.  There are monkey clans, deer clans, plant clans, fish clans, etc.  The rule about the clans is that you can’t eat the animal/plant that is your clan.  My name is Nakimera and I am of the grasshopper clan... after reading previous blogs, I am sure that you can tell I have broken this rule.  I constantly have to lie to people that I don’t eat Nsenene.  And I can’t tell the people where I buy grasshoppers my name because they won’t sell them to me if they know I am Nakimera. Ha.

Hang your underwear on the outside clothes line-  You just don’t do this here... because underwear is such a private thing.  I am not going to lie, I still hang my underwear on the line. 

Plant pumpkins next to peas-  Starting my first garden was fun.  But I had exactly no clue what I was doing.  I came up with a very beautiful design for the plot, and was absolutely unaware of how specific vegetables grew.  I ended up with monster pumpkin plants that attacked my peas with their vines, successfully killing all of my peas.  Guess you live and learn.

Have dirty shoes- Ugandans are unusually preoccupied with their shoes.  And for a country that is mostly covered in dirt roads, this is a problem.  I am forever walking to class with muddy shoes, or shoes that are so covered in dust that they look light brown.  I get admonished for it all the time, but who really has time to wash their shoes... alright, Im not really that busy. But its still annoying.

Acknowledge when women are pregnant-  This one is so HARD, because everyone in this country is pregnant. That and I totally love pregnancy. It is totally inappropriate to ask someone if they are pregnant, to talk about their potential baby, or to ask to touch their belly.  Ugandans believe that if you talk about the baby before it’s born than you could possibly curse it.  I didn’t have any clue about this about 3 months ago... when I was teaching English at a church.  The pastor mentioned that some of the students (adults who attend the church) might not be there in a few weeks for “certain reasons”.  This was in front of the whole congregation.  I said, “Well... what reasons?”  And he looked around and said, “Hmm... just look around.”  Which I did... and proceeded to say, “Oh, they are pregnant?!!?  Are you all having boys or girls?  Will you have them soon?”  Everyone just stared at me like I was an idiot and the pastor whispered in my ear “We don’t talk about those things here.” Come on Amber!  After that I talked to Ugandans and found out it is not appropriate at all to talk about a pregnancy in any way shape or form for fear that the baby will be cursed.

 

So if you ever come to visit me, be sure not to do any of the above mentioned things. J