This past weekend, I was lucky enough to get invited to an introduction. And introduction is basically like an engagement party in the States, but 100 times funnier and more involved. The general premise is that the girl is introducing the boy to her family. This is also when the boy pays the traditional “bride price”. The whole idea of the introduction is that it is a huge drama.... everyone is playing a role and its really important to exaggerate and follow all of the rules. One of my Peace Corps friends has fallen in love with a Ugandan girl and this was their introduction!
We all took a couple of hours getting ready before the event. You have to wear traditional attire and we were all a bit inexperienced with how to wear it, walk in it, etc. The men wear kanzus and the women wear Gomez. The men look damn good in their outfit but the purpose of the Gomez is to make women look very fat (as that is a good thing in this culture). There are so many layers of fabric, it’s basically a mess if you haven’t worn one before. Here is me trying to get mine on.... with the help of Ven, of course:
You can see that I have a layer UNDER the blue one. This is to make my "hips and bum look bigger" Then you wrap all of that blue around you. Talk about hot.
All of us girls with our outfits.
We arrived at the introduction 2 hours late (I guess this is just expected) and we all had to line up outside of where the event would take place (at the girls fathers house). There were about 50 of us in our entourage (PC staff, volunteers, and friends from his village) and we were instructed to “dance in”. As we came in, four girls dressed as nurses came out, gave us “immunizations”, little knitted pins and handkerchiefs with the future bride and grooms names. Then we all sat down under a big tent. The mans friends and family under one tent, with the womans in another tent.
Our group waiting to be immunized by the brides family. We are a colorful bunch!
Then the womans family brings out a bunch of girls, to show how prosperous they are and how they have so many girls. Every time they ask if the groom (who I forgot to mention is currently sitting in the general crowd... the family doesn’t know who he is) would like any of these girls. They bring out groups of girls starting with 4 years olds, then 8 year olds, then 14 year olds, then 20 year olds, then a few groups of adults. Each group of girls does a dance, says some words of wisdom and then is given a gift from the grooms side. The entire thing is commentated by two MC’s who are hired by the separate families. They banter back and forth with the brides side saying things like “We showed you all of our girls, you can go now” and “Please leave, we already gave you people drinks.” After all the dancers come, the jja jja (grandma) comes out in her digging clothes, with a machete in one hand and a hoe in the other and acts like she had no clue that this event was going to happen. She then realizes her granddaughter is going to get married and comes out and dances. (I thought this was hilarious and totally want to do this at my engagement party. Ha)
Finally, the girls aunt says that they have brought out all of the girls and now the brides family wants to meet the groom. The aunty goes searching/dancing through the crowd and after about 10 minutes “finds” the groom. Then he is introduced. Next, more girls come out and dance and this time the bride is amongst them. The girls are instructed to dance into kneeling position... unless they are the bride, which leaves her standing alone. She is told to stand for a while so everyone can get a good look. Then the grooms sister has to present a gift for the groom. After that the future bride is finally allowed to sit next to her future groom. But this lasts for a whopping 10 minutes and then she has to go back and sit with her family.
Kimuli and his future wife Gertrude
Next is the giving of gifts.... also known as paying the “bride price”. A few months before the introduction occurs, the future groom has to go and speak with the girls aunt. He brings her gifts and they negotiate how much he will have to bring to the introduction. On the day of the introduction the people who traveled with the groom bring in all of the gifts. To give you an idea of how much stuff it was.... there was about 40 of us carrying it in...... and it took us 3 trips!! Here is a list of some of the things he gave:
● Basket of tomatoes
● 7 loaves of bread
● Basket of onions
● 8 pineapples
● Basket of spices
● 10 jars of blueband
● Gomez fabric for ALL women
● Kanzus for ALL men
● TV
● Cow
● Chicken
● Suitcase
● Crates of soda
● Boxes of water
● Basket of oranges
● Box of applyes
● 6 heads of cabbage
● Maize Flower
● Matooke
The boys carrying in the heavy items.
All of the stuff that the groom purchased for the brides family.
I asked what would happen to all the perishable food (because there is no way one family could consume it in time) and Ven told me that they give it out to all the extended relatives, so everyone basically gets a gift from the groom.
I told Mr. Bigyemwa (my neighbor) that I was going to an introduction here in the Buganda Kingdom. He proceeded to say that people in the Buganda Kingdom are not serious about bride price, and I quote, “ In the Buganda Kingdom they let men buy woman for tomatoes. What kind of a price is that? You think they will want to keep the wife that they only paid for in tomatoes? What reason would the husband have for staying? I paid 8 cows for my wife and I have been with her for 25 years. Those people are not serious.” I love his theory.
After the gift-giving, there is an outfit change for the bridal party, cutting of the cake and then general merrymaking. We had a delicious meal of luwombo (chicken wrapped in matooke leaves and steamed) and then did some dancing. It was amazing to see the fusion of the two cultures and to be able to be a part of two incredible peoples very special day. And I can’t even wait to go to their wedding. J
1 comment:
I love the 'bako'
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